In the time of me.

I'm realizing there are many signifigant moments in my life I can no longer remember. Moments at one time that had a lot to do with who I am now. This is alarming. My hope is that there have been so many moments in the recent years that are so incredibly wonderful they can only eclipse the old memories otherwise my brain would explode from 'moment overdrive.' I just saw a picture on my friends page of myself holding a baby alligator by its tail on a fishing trip. I remember certain things from the trip but do not at all remember holding an alligator. All I know is my hair is thinner than it was then and at some point on that trip or perhaps the one the year before, I was 'feeling' a lot. Not touching mind you, but feeling. 

 Now I am taking in new memories, new moments in my life that will also be forgotten until I'm an old man and my stories stem from thoughts as abstract and slightly fictional as the things I write. Then, I'll die, and the people I leave will remember me for a while, then they'll die and their children will have maybe heard of me, but never have met me and then they'll pass on and I'll only be a branch on a family tree. Not that this is news. This isn't the first time I've realized life is moving and will eventually pass over me, leaving me underground. It's just one of those strange experiences where when you leave wherever you were the night before you feel like you should cry on your walk home, only to make the night more memorable. Something to stake the thought into your subconcious lest it leave with the rest of your youth. I will grow old, I will grow bald, and I will sag. I'm relegated and at peace with this truth. But I don't want to forget anything else. I don't want to forget the alligator in my hands. I don't want to forget wanting a rat-tail because Brian Perona had one. I suppose the more the special moments of life start to fade from my mind the more I desire a longer moment. Something lasting and shared. Not a heavenly eternity, but something shared--something where two people are reminding each other of this or that. "Do you remember when..." and so on. Hopefully the answer being yes. if not, what was the signifigance of the moment ever existing, and in that case, if we dare go so far; what was the signifigance of my existing in the first place. 

 There once was a man who at age 21 baked bagels for strangers. He smoked a pipe and drank his beers and died when he was 91. I baked bagels when I was 21 too. I hope if I live to be 91 I can remember that. Or at least that there will be someone there to remind me.